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The Monkey Mind Is Not Broken. It’s Just Outdated
I am 53 years old. I remember the world before the internet, and I remember it with a certain fondness, though I am aware enough to question whether that fondness is wisdom or simply nostalgia. Perhaps both. What I am more certain of is this: I have a slight aversion to smartphones. I own one
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Your Suffering Lives in the Stories You Tell Yourself
Early memories stick. I can still see my five-year-old self standing at the edge of the playground, watching the other boys play football. I wanted to join in, but I couldn’t move. What held me back wasn’t the game itself, but the narrative running in my head: I’ll be rubbish. They’ll laugh at me. I
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Relapse Isn’t the Problem. Unconsciousness Is
I relapsed countless times. I know the hell of ‘coming to’ drenched in panic, not knowing whether it’s day or night, and wondering where your other boot is! Then scrambling to find a bottle to seek oblivion again, quickly, before reality rears its monstrous head. In those hellish days I framed each relapse as a
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A Relapse Prevention Framework: Intuition, Intention & Action
Most relapses don’t begin with a drink, a drug, or a destructive behaviour. They begin quietly, internally, long before anything external happens. A thought drifts in. A feeling follows. A familiar internal conversation starts up again. The body tightens. The mind offers a solution. Relief appears to be on offer. By the time the substance
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Meditate Rather than Intoxicate – Meditation as a Tool for Relapse Prevention
The coming of the hideous four horsemen There’s always a moment on the other side of a binge where you come to, wondering where you are, what happened and whether there is a bottle somewhere. If you manage to find a bottle that isn’t empty, you know you can at least blot out reality for
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Expanding Awareness in a World That Wants to Shrink it
Tuning in beyond the static All of what I write on this blog comes from my lived experience trying to deepen a connection with a higher power, god, universal consciousness, blah blah… Whatever ‘it’ is, it can’t be confined to a word. The Twelve Step path introduced me to spirituality, and in hindsight, it was
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From Pinlight to Searchlight – A Journey into Expanded Consciousness
Realising the Narrow Scope of My Awareness Lately, I’ve noticed something unsettling: my field of consciousness feels incredibly narrow – like a pinlight in a vast dark room. I have no idea if this is how it is for others. It’s not exactly water cooler conversation material, and honestly, consciousness is a hard thing to
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Meditation and its Benefits in Addiction Recovery
Quitting drink and drugs was the best thing I’ve ever done for my wellbeing. And regular meditation is the second best thing. Despite meditation being part of Step 11, it surprises me how few people in the rooms of AA practice it regularly or at all. There is a misconception that you somehow need to
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Brainwave Entrainment and How it Can Enhance Addiction Recovery
Music has always been something I’ve used to change my mood. In my drinking days, it tended to be heavy rock and blues, as it seemed to resonate with the darkness I felt during those years. Now that I’m sober, I tend to listen a lot more to house, as it aligns with a more
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The Hidden Link: Psychic Entropy, Addiction, and the Path to Mental Resilience
Save me from the incessant monkey We all experience intrusive thoughts from our restless monkey minds, and on some days, they feel especially overwhelming. My partner and I recently returned to the UK after spending a month in Kenya. I’ve often found that traveling can be incredibly stressful—the bustle of a busy airport, followed by